When anyone describes an Aries girl as pushy, bossy, emotional, impulsive, impractical,
and impossibly immature, the Virgo man who has loved her will nearly
always disagree. He didn't find her to be any of those things.
To him, she was a lot of woman - perhaps too much woman for him to handle
- but he remembers her as direct and honest, fresh and innocent. "She was
generous with her time and money," he'll say. "She shared my idealism about
love, taught me many things, and treated me gently and kindly. She may have
been a little hurt or jealous occasionally, but she never created any really violent
scenes. She was always willing to talk it over with me - to listen to reason. And
when we made up after a minor quarrel, she made me believe in happiness all
over again, like the very first time. She was gentle, affectionate - and eternally
When he finishes that nostalgic speech, his companion will probably ask,
"Are you sure she was an Aries?"
Yes, she was an Aries, ruled by Mars, the planet of war and aggressive action.
But an Aries woman surprisingly often will show her softer side, her hidden
femininity, and her deep latent capacity for unselfish love to a Virgo. When
she finds a man who's kind and considerate, a man who admires her courage and
her bright mind, who seldom competes with her, who teaches her tenderly, sympathizes
with her faults, and has faith in her dreams - she trusts him with her
whole heart. Her hidden Aries insecurities and secret fears of inadequacy melt
away, and with them, the need to assert herself forcefully, in the mistaken belief
that to conquer is to win - in love, as in war. The necessity for combat disappears
when the total love she seeks so desperately is given to her as a gift, purely
and completely, as Virgo love is always given, with no strings attached.
Then why didn't it last? Virgo's instinctive fear of matrimony. Since the
Aries woman is unable to see patience as a virtue and expects all her wishes to
come true instantly, the second she says "abracadabra," she may lose heart (perhaps
too soon), run away in tears, and eventually convince herself it was only a
lovely friendship. Strangely enough, that's just what a broken love affair between
these two frequently becomes after the scars have healed. Thanks to Virgo's
inbred courtesy and gallantry, there are fewer bitter memories than those
which usually linger after a shattered romance between other Sun Signs.Still, sometimes love does last forever between Aries and Virgo, and when it lot of help.) But if she should
does, Life can be very beautiful. There will be a few shadows scattered throughout
the sunlight, however, and they'll have to be faced realistically, not emotionally.
He's willing to face anything realistically, without self-deception, but she
may need some help. (In fact, she may need a
succeed, she deserves more credit than he does. A Virgo man finds it easy to
analyze a situation, spot the flaws, reach a compromise, and clear away the confusion.
He really doesn't deserve much praise for doing what is so instinctive,
what comes so naturally to him. The Aries girl's natural reaction to a problem is
to first slam it with a hammer, then butt against it with those Ram horns, hoping
to demolish it. If that doesn't work, she's ready to sit down and discuss the
pros and cons of it, but the pros may be all on her side - the cons on his. Therefore,
if she can learn to face a misunderstanding with a cool temper and a rational
mind, she deserves the kind of appreciation reserved for those who accomplish
the nearly impossible.
All those memories of the girl Ram that the Virgo man we discussed before
still retains in his neat mind were formed when their love was new. If the affair
had lasted longer or developed into marriage, she may have seemed to him a trifle
less like an angel. He might also have seemed to her a few inches shorter
than a saint. Most of the squabbles between Aries and Virgo will blow hot and
cold over his urge to criticize her. If he's truly analytical, he'll soon realize that,
with her, he's safer when the wind blows hot than when it blows cold. As I've
counseled repeatedly, there's more to fear from Aries ice than from Aries fire.
The latter soon burns itself out. The former can shock the astrological novice,
when the Aries woman stops crying "wolf and cries "good-bye." Once she's
gone she's not likely to look over her shoulder to yesterday. The freedom of today
may be far more exciting to her than the fast-fading recollection of past
heartache. It has been said that Rams never learn from burning themselves on a
hot stove. They're always ready to touch it again. Perhaps. But not necessarily
the same stove. That's worth remembering.
Back to the criticism. True, he has secret ways of convincing her that his
criticisms don't mean she isn't loved. But loved or not, she won't be happy
when the list of her shortcomings is longer than the list of her talents and virtues.
If he wants a tranquil relationship with this woman, he'll learn to appreciate
her taste and cleanliness in creating an attractive home, and refrain from
peeking under the sink to see if she's polished the drain on the garbage disposal
- or poking into the closet to see if she's scrubbed the shelves. She probably
hasn't. Someone else can do all that. Like him. Or a maid.
She could also have a habit of spend now - pay later - which may bring on
periodic spells of Virgo nervousness. Pouting in the corner, nagging, or hiding
the credit cards won't work with Aries. The best solution is to let her get a job
and squander her own money.
The combination of Aries and Virgo is a 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern. Among other
things, this means that devotion, service, and working together will always be
part of their relationship. It also means something which may come as a surprise
to those who don't understand astrology - a strangely compelling sexual
attraction. She represents sexual mystery to him. He represents to her the kind
of sexual relationship she can trust. Somehow, despite the basic differences in
their natures, these two may enjoy a rare compatibility of physical desire and
expression. Perhaps it's born of the essential innocence and purity of intent the
symbolic Infant and the symbolic Virgin bring, in an esoteric sense, to their
lovemaking. Or it may be their mutual belief that sexual union is the ultimate
blending of a man and woman's deepest yearnings, bringing their bodies, minds,
and souls together in a singing unison of purpose and mutual tenderness. It
could be this woman's directness, the simplicity of her approach to intimacy,that appeals to the Virgo man's innate honesty - or his unselfish consideration he's not spontaneous or involved enough indemanding that he pay attention tohim, not herself. She should suggest happy
of her needs that touches her so tenderly - and the fact that his latent passion
can be aroused only with someone who joins him in the desire to raise physical
love to a higher level than a casual erotic encounter or a brief pleasure.
Whatever the reason, the sexual relationship between them is usually a
strong force, often resulting in the kind of emotional peace and physical fulfillment
that makes it easier for them to tolerate the differences and tensions in
other areas of their togetherness. With Aries and Virgo, sex is a renewal of hope
and rededication to each other. In most Aries-Virgo unions, the Virgo man will
feel that the Aries female is all the woman he'll ever want or need. The enthusiasm
of her spontaneous passion nearly always deepens his basic earthy instincts.
But she may sometimes feel that
passion, and she may lie awake beside him on more than one night, wondering to
herself if this is all there is to love. Somehow, she hoped it would be more like
her daydreams, more stormy and wild and abandoned. She adores his gentleness
and consideration, but she may wish occasionally he'd make her feel really
truly conquered and overpowered - like Heathcliffe and Cathy on the moors.
The girl Ram must comprehend that the Virgo man she loves is frequently
driven, by the combined forces of his foster ruler Mercury and his true, as yet
undiscovered, ruling planet Vulcan, to commit himself to the mental gymnastics
of the moment - and pursue a thought to its conclusion. When she accuses him
of neglecting her at these times, he won't understand. His busy mind has been
busy meditating on amoebas, splitting and popping into the air as they reproduce
themselves. At a time like that, to be pulled back to the reality of manwoman
love can annoy him. She'll resent his detachment, and her instinctive
urge to employ the fiery Mars method of
her can create some unpleasant scenes between them. He'll intensely dislike being
boxed in by her insistence on direct answers. Especially when he's immersed
in one of his frequent spells of deep-blue depression and futility.
At these times, the only way to handle him is to pretend she doesn't even
notice his gloom and sadness. She should make a conscious effort to remain
cheerful herself, totally curb her own sensitivity to neglect - and concentrate all
her concern and sympathy toward
things for the two of them to do . . . and talk about positive plans for the future.
But quietly and sparingly - not in a running streak of conversation, which will
only drive him deeper into mental seclusion. He doesn't need chattering when
he's worried and won't tell her what it is that's troubling him. He needs to know
she's there, that's a l l . . . that she's somewhere near, singing or humming . . . confidently
going about her business in the background. It gives him a feeling of security.
Even if he turns a deaf ear toward her suggestions to go somewhere and refuses
to budge under her gentle urging to change the scene, he'll gradually come
around if she doesn't press him. Once is enough for any suggestion. If he
doesn't pick up on i t . . . wait for a while. The one thing he doesn't need during
these Virgo worry sessions is the third degree . . . or the added burden of seeing
the woman he loves in tears because his silence and detachment have caused her
to feel neglected, and therefore sorry for herself. Self-pity is the very worst
thing the girl Ram can allow herself to indulge in when her Virgo man has temporarily
retreated from her, mentally and emotionally. Patience, gentleness,
tenderness, and just being there if he should need her . . . these are the ingredients
of the subtle alchemy guaranteed to bring the twinkling stars back to shine
again in his clear, calm Virgo eyes.
She should stop finding fault with him (Aries is quick to imitate, and may
pick up the Virgo critical syndrome after a time) and instead count her blessings.
This man will seldom interfere with her freedom by imposing unnecessaryrestraints and restrictions on her activities. (This is wise of him, because she'd expect a miracle, you'll find
do her own thing anyway, through sheer resentment at being told how to behave,
where to go, and what time to return.) But there's no denying that the
sometimes sharp and satirical words of the Virgo male can deeply wound this
woman in the sensitive area of her self-confidence. Also, he may not be as demonstrative
as she'd like him to be - not in relation to their sexual intimacy,
but in their day-to-day communication and contact.
Demonstrative affection does not flow easily with Virgo and may have to be
deliberately cultivated if he wants to keep her, because the tangible expressions
of devotion (the small touching things, such as bear hugs, a kiss on the cheek, a
meaningful wink across the room, or an unexpected tight handclasp) are a deepseated
need within her. If these constant reassurances of love are missing from
their relationship, her belligerence and defiance will grow in direct proportion to
the degree of her emotional starvation.
The Aries girl is gregarious, affectionate, and demonstrative. It hurts and
worries her when the man she loves makes it clear he'd rather be busy doing other
things without her now and then. But he needs many more moments alone
than most other men, for without them, his Virgo crankiness, nervousness, and
irritability can increase. Although it won't be easy for the girl Ram to really
understand her Virgo man's frequent need for privacy and solitude, she can
comfort herself with the thought that this man is far less likely than any other
Sun Sign to hurt her by flirting with another woman when he's not with her.
Like Aries, Virgo usually falls in love for keeps. Yes, I know love that lasts forever
is rare enough to be a miracle. But if youit every time.