Friday, November 5, 2010


It is April 9th, 1971, the day (though not the year) of his birth, and he has just
sent his mother a telegram of congratulations. Now the Ram is in a hurry to
rush into the arms of the Aquarian girl he loves. He comes bursting through the
door, grabs her enthusiastically, plants a passionate kiss on her cheek, and says
something like, "I have a wonderful idea about how to celebrate my birthday tonight.
We'll go down to the Village and have dinner in that little Italian place
where we first met, then catch Ali MacGraw and Ryan O'Neal in
Love Story."
The Aquarian girl stares dreamily at a spot somewhere past his left shoulder,
and murmurs, "I wonder how that shoe-polish stain got up there on the ceiling?
Maybe I could paint some flowers and peace symbols to cover it. Far out.
A ceiling mural, just like the Sistine Chapel "
What does that have to do with my birthday?
. . . . maybe it was France
You see, the only word she picked up in his exuberant speech was "Italian."
Any competent astrologer could tell you there will be trouble in River City tonight.
(If I seem to be mixing up my geography, never mind, the Aquarians
What's wrong, honey? You seem upset.
ARIES: I'm not upset. I'm
She has a Taurus Ascendent.
Who has what?
I've been crying since I read the first sentence.
Ali MacGraw. She's an Aries like you, but she has a Taurus Ascendent.
Now you've lost me. You've completely lost me.
What can you say about a twenty-one-year-old girl who died?
You're thinking of suicide? Baby, I'm not that mad - honest!
and that crazy little Italian waiter with the curly hair and moustache
who guessed we were in love - so he brought candles and flowers
and wine to the table . . . and, oh - that reminds me! I want to give
you a bottle of the same kind of wine we drank that night for your
birthday. I'll have to make a note, so I won't forget. It's next month
isn't it? Why are you looking at me like that? Was it
Well, she may miss a
There's a curious air of absentminded detachment about an Aquarian girl.
Some people interpret it as daydreaming. Grandma would have called it woolgathering.
A Ram will call it an unforgivable outrage. To an Aries male, who
was, remember, born under a Cardinal Sign, the cardinal sin is to ignore him.
She isn't exactly ignoring him. Then again, she is. But no more than she ignores
anything that would chain her down to specifics, when she's concentrating
on something not even remotely connected with the happening in front of her.
The average Aries man falls in love impetuously and fully, and he demands
an immediate response. If he doesn't get it in a short time - a very short
time - his built-in defense mechanism against being hurt takes over, and he
tells himself, "Who needs her?"
sign to risk unrequited love if he can help it. It's never as easy for an Aquarian
girl to be certain she's in love, even when she's deeply interested in a man. It's
because of her Uranus friendship curse - or blessing. (It can be either, by turns,
depending.) She finds something utterly fascinating and compelling about
nearly every stranger she comes across, let alone everyone she knows. How does
she tell the difference between such fascination and love? This girl honestly
has a problem figuring out the answer to the question of "Is it love or friendship?"
The one thing she knows for certain is that love must
Not for her the physical chemistry alone that consumes some couples and
causes them to wrongly believe they're made for each other. The anatomical
differences between male and female never constitute, to this lady, sufficient
reason to become emotionally involved. Her essence is Air, she was born under
a mental sign - and she must be intellectually attracted to a man before the
contemplation of either sex or romance makes a bit of sense to her. Not that she
isn't capable of chalking up an occasional mistake. She is not, after all, Prudence
Purity. But she makes fewer errors of judgment than her Sun Sign sisters
who are seeking only a sense of physical belonging with a man.
She's seeking something else. Just what it is, she's not quite certain - but
it's definitely something else. Once she's found it, she'll become intensely interested
in the body-buddy game, but before that, she's not about to be seduced by
the ordinary player who's merely looking for some sensual pleasure. Nor is she
easily overwhelmed by the Aries man's insistent declarations of idealistic love,proposal. Little
based on impulsive emotion alone. But there's nothing bashful about her, and
once she believes it would be mentally exciting, intriguing, and worthwhile to
become more intimate with the Ram who attracts her, she won't concern herself
with coquettish tricks to keep him guessing. She's more likely to announce, suddenly
and unexpectedly, when he's least prepared for such a lightning bolt, "I
think I love you. Why don't you spend the night?" or perhaps, "Why don't we
live together?"
It will shock him for a moment. A brief moment. But since he's as honest
and straightforward as she is (they both despise hypocrisy and neither of them
gives a dandelion what the neighbors think - they do what they jolly well
please, adore flaunting convention and defying society's silly rules), he'll recover
right away and accept her proposal. When such a suggestion comes from a man,
it's a proposition. Coming from a woman, it's only a friendly
niceties like that are among the pluses of being a female that are tough to give
up in exchange for the benefits of ERA's "proposed" sexual equality.
Speaking of sexual equality, that brings us to perhaps the most important
single, threatening aspect of a relationship between these two. She was born under
a masculine Sun Sign, and her attitudes and actions are aggressively guided
by the also-masculine planet Uranus. The Ram, too, was born under a masculine
Sun Sign, his attitudes and actions likewise aggressively guided by the alsomasculine
planet, Mars. On top of that astrological standoff, she's Fixed (stubborn)
and he's Cardinal (determined). It may sound pretty discouraging, like
the game of childhood, where one person draws a line and dares the other to
step over it - or like General Lee facing General Sherman, cannonball to cannonball.
But it's not all push-and-pull between these two. There's also a good
deal of give and take, principally because of the beneficent karmic influence of
their 3-11 Sun Sign Pattern. It brings to their relationship all kinds of beautiful
bonuses and boosters to happiness and harmony. The most beneficial of these is
the friendship aspect of the 3-11 vibration, allowing the couples influenced by it
to be friends, as well as lovers. You can see how this might solve a lot of the
Ram's problems regarding her Uranian friendship fetish. In addition, the influence
creates the atmosphere for free and flowing communication between
them - most of the time. They'll find it easier than most couples to talk about
their disagreements - to communicate their feelings to each other. They'll both
benefit more or less equally from this particular reward of their personal Sun
Sign Pattern vibration, because she's an Air Sign and all Air Signs do enjoy talking.
He's an Aries, and enjoys it even more. All these goodies somewhat dilute
the negative effect of the Fixed versus Cardinal and double masculine standoff
between them. Not that the latter can be completely ignored. It will still be
necessary to cope with these matters to some degree, but a solution won't be difficult,
and certainly not impossible.
Once she's decided their relationship is worthy of her whole involvement,
the sexual compatibility between the Ram and the girl Water Bearer (who is, by
the way, regardless of being called a Water Bearer, not of the Water, but of the
Air essence - only one of her many contradictions) contains the potential of being
a rare and beautiful blending. But a potential must be encouraged to develop.
She may be puzzled by the intensity of his desire and the overwhelming passion
of his lovemaking. Still, it's always a positive happening for an Aquarian
woman to be puzzled by anything, for she is curious, and usually won't rest until
she's solved any puzzle Life or Love presents to her. A word of caution to the
Ram, however. She becomes quickly bored after she's put the pieces together
and satisfied her curiosity. So the best insurance that their physical Oneness
will always hold its first fine rapture for them is for the Aries man to always
treat their sexual union as something special, different, and unusual in some
show when her occasional sexual detachment leads him to believe she doesn't
really need him. She should never respond to his sexual overtures with anything
but a sincere and all-consuming enthusiasm, always welcome his embraces with
unmistakable joy and anticipation. Otherwise he could become temporarily impotent
and unable to express his physical love for her, because of a never-admitted
feeling of inadequacy, which she might not even notice, since sex, to her,
like everything else, is only one facet of her varied existence. She may be happily
tuning the engine of the car some Saturday morning or skipping through
the woods picking a bunch of wildflowers during these cool periods, without the
slightest notion of why he's so morose and frustrated. She should warn herself
to be more alert to his moods - forget the dwell/tachometer, drop her bouquet
of Oxalis - and murmur in his ear that she needs to rest awhile (in his arms, of
course), yet still not make it seem as if she's the initiator of the lovemaking she's
suggesting. Keeping the Ram sexually contented and happy takes a lot of careful
consideration, and this woman, while not deliberately or intentionally inconsiderate,
can become absorbed in a multitude of manic activities and interests,
while neglecting the one activity that's important - their love.
Sometimes the Uranian experimental urges and unpredictable behavior of
the Aquarian woman will seem to the Ram who truly loves her like a patchwork
of erratic, changing moods and frustratingly brief spans of attention. He can't
seem to catch her . . . . like a butterfly or a lark. But if he doesn't try to dominate
her personality and allows her the freedom she needs to work out her individuality,
all her myriad interests will one day integrate naturally into the whole
of her fascinating self.
Sometimes, the driving ambition, endless energy, and profusion of dreams
shooting forth like comets through the vibrant aura of the Aries man will seem
to the Aquarian woman who truly loves him like living with a sack of fireworks,
ready to explode at the touch of a match. She can't seem to convince him to
slow down to her complicated and intricate, but slower and more dreamy, approach
to living. But if she never forgets to remember to make him know she
loves him with all her heart when he stumbles and falls, just as much as she does
the times when he's elated by victory (maybe even more, because of his vulnerability),
his emotions will gradually mature and his confidence will grow into a
tall tree of stability. Then she'll wish he was little-boy-impulsive again, because
she'll miss his spontaneity. She's ruled by Uranus, the planet of change, you
see. So she'll perversely toss a match into his Mars sack of fireworks just to see
if he's still the man who first made her laugh when she was sad and weep when
she was happy, by reminding her of her own springtime when everything was
green and fresh and new. She won't have to wonder long. The roman candles
are still inflammable . . . the sparklers too. He was only pretending to be mature
and stable. And in her crazy-daisy, upside-down Aquarian way, that will make
her very, very happy. So happy, she'll surprise him with a bottle of the wineher birthday, he'll tell her - in October. She'll grin, and say that's a 
they used to drink a toast each other that night in the Village . . . for his birthday.
(It will be August, and his birthday is in April, but no matter. He won't
care.) Then she'll turn up the volume on the stereo. Warsaw Concerto. Maybe
Rhapsody in Blue. Or Beethoven's Fifth.
An Aquarian Cassandra weaves a spell of druidic enchantment and marvelous
madness from which an Aries man will never escape. Later, when they're
both "resting" (which was his idea alone), he'll stare at the ceiling, and say,
"You know, darling, the mural you painted to cover the splash of shoe polish reminds
me of a painting by Michelangelo."
"Oh, wow!" she'll exclaim, delighted. "How did you know I wanted to go
to Italy in the autumn?" How did he know? Easy. He finally mastered the
high-frequency modulation and tuned in to her Uranus channel. Besides, he's
always wanted to see the Sistine Chapel himself. Maybe they can go there to
lovely idea. She's always wondered what it would be like to be a Libra woman.
He'll tell her he thinks it would be great, because, as a Leo, he's always wanted
to have an affair with a Libran. Then they'll have a pillow fight. She'll win.
Feathers everywhere. He won't mind losing. Yes, they've finally tuned in.
should realize that this man is wounded more deeply than he'll ever

way. He should vary his approach to their intimacies from time to time. She
doesn't mind if the variations consist of a deep and silent physical togetherness
after a quarrel, with the sudden fulfillment of love hunger becoming an eloquent
apology between them without words . . . an unexpected time of the consummation
of their erotic needs at odd hours during the day, instead of always being a
bedtime ritual... if he decides to play classical music during their closeness,
and turns up the stereo loud enough to make spoken endearments between
them impossible (and also unnecessary, since music does have a soaring aphrodisiac
effect)... whether they whisper and talk constantly during the physical
expression of their love . . . . and he recites poetry to her or tells her funny stories
about kangaroos... whether he's tender and gentle or violent and feral-
. . . just so sex is never dull or boring - never a repetitious ritual. Her thirst for
change is something he'll have to realize.
That's the first sentence in the book. I can't wait to see the film -last month?few things . . .He does, perhaps, very much, but Aries is not abegin with friendship.

reading it will understand.) It's a mistake, however, to think a Water Bearer
isn't always acutely aware, just because she seems vague and aloof. Actually, she
didn't miss a thing. For proof: Back to River City . . . .
I'm sorry, darling. I could have sworn Michelangelo was born in Italy

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